


standing in the way of control

by jinxfabray



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-28 14:56:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinxfabray/pseuds/jinxfabray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Harry thinks he's got it all figured out, but he didn't count on Liam Payne bursting into his life like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	standing in the way of control

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to my lovely sister sara for betaing this for me and never letting me give up  
> i'm not super thrilled about how it came out but i've the idea for this fic in my head for ages now and if i don't post it i will never be able to get back to studying so.  
> comments are like crack, but the good kind of crack if you know what i mean

It's two am, and the TV is so loud Harry can't even hear himself thinking, but it doesn't matter. There's a football game on and his team is winning, which is making Niall pout dramatically, and those are probably his two favorite things in life. He's pretty sure his smile is stupidly wide, but he can't bring himself to care because he's got the three best mates in the world around him and even if they are all yelling at each other and being incredibly annoying, they are still top quality mates and he couldn't be happier.

“Oi, Harry, stop thinking whatever cheesy thing you were thinking and go bring more chips.”

Niall shoves an empty bowl into his hands and Harry startles back into reality. Right. Top quality mates who are also kind of assholes sometimes. With a grunt, he stands up and makes his way to the kitchen, mumbling something about learning how to say no to people.

When he goes back to the couch, they've all changed positions and he has to squeeze himself in between Zayn and Louis, elbowing them both until they make room for him. Niall's head is immediately resting against his knees, and soon enough he's humming to himself quietly. It's perfect, just the four of them, and it doesn't surprise Harry all that much, considering everything that comes in fours tends to be good.

It's not that Harry has an obsession with the number four. It's just that in a way, he does have an obsession with the number four. As far as he's concerned, all the greatest things in life come in fours. He's got some theory about it having to do with the four elements, but he can't ever stay focused enough to get to the end of it. Four's the number of members in The Beatles, and the amount of times he had to beg Grimmy to let him have a spot on his radio show. It's also the number of members in Little Mix, Zayn usually adds if he's around when Harry starts rambling about his theory again, and Niall will always say the best kind of pizza is the one that has four types of cheese in it. Louis usually stays quiet, but everyone knows he's thinking of his four sisters. So yeah, though they'd never admit it, Harry's pretty sure he's convinced them all about his theory by now, which is why none of them would ever think of trying to bring someone new into their group of friends. Everything is perfect the way it is, and trying to add someone would just disrupt the balance and make everything spiral out of control.

The fact that Harry himself is the one who thinks of bringing someone new into their group should be a clear sign of how disastrous the whole thing is going to be, but it's not, and so when he spots the guy sitting by himself at the last row in his Algebra class, reading a comic instead of taking notes, he doesn't think twice before heading over and sitting next to him. There's something about the way he keeps tapping his foot on the floor as if he can't wait to get out of class (or maybe it's how he doesn't even bother to pretend to be paying attention to class) that Harry reads as a clear sign of how badly he needs someone to go chat him up before he runs away from the classroom, or gets kicked out.

Dropping himself on the seat in a very not elegant way, Harry doesn't waste a second before leaning over his shoulder to see what he's reading. The boy is startled, too focused on his comic book to have even noticed the proximity of another human being, and he pulls away closing the book.

“Don't stop reading on my account, mate, this is the most boring lecture ever.” Harry gestures towards the comic, not moving an inch, and the smile he gets in return makes him feel a bit lightheaded. “It is, isn't it? If you move your chair a little closer we can hide under our books and we can share.” It feels like a scene right out of kindergarten, and if Louis were here Harry's pretty sure he would have burst out laughing at this guy already, but he finds himself thinking it's cute how innocent he seems to be. “That would be wicked. I'm Harry, by the way.” He introduces himself as he tries to move his chair without making any screeching noises that might draw attention to them, and he settles in comfortably on the boy's shoulder. “'m Liam. And this is Deadpool, which is most definitely not Marvel's version of Deathstroke, since he came first.”

It takes Harry about half an hour of discussing Deadpool's obvious superiority to Deathstroke to decide he can't bring Liam into his group of friends. Despite what everyone else may think, it took a very long process to pick the final three people he wanted in his exclusive group of four, and he should have known that trying to disrupt the natural balance of things by adding a fifth wouldn't work out. He was the mastermind behind the genius theory of everything in fours being perfect, for fuck's sake. It should have been obvious that Liam wouldn't pass the test that would allow him to invite him to hang out with them.

The class is over sooner than he expected, and he says goodbye to Liam, trying to ignore the nauseating feeling he gets when he smiles at him, “See you Wednesday then?” rolling off his lips as if it's nothing, as if making friends is that easy. 

The thing is, Harry knows friendships are actually very fucking hard, thank you very much. And unless everyone's careful, they can end in heartbreak. So maybe he's a bit picky, but he learned the hard way to never be friends with anyone he might end up doing not so friendly stuff with. All of his current friends are fairly good looking lads, but with Niall and Zayn being as straight as they can get, and Louis and him being nearly brothers, he knows he's safe.

Liam is an entirely different situation. Liam is all arms that look like he could hold him against a wall without breaking a sweat, and smiles that could blind him if he stares for too long, and it's just not safe. Even if Liam looks straight. Especially because Liam looks straight. Harry can't afford developing a crush on his straight friend, not anymore. He's been there, and he's not looking forward to ever going back, so Liam's definitely not ever going to be a part of his group of friends.

But as badly as he wants to, Harry can't control everything in his life.

He should have known, really. Zayn has always had a sort of radar for dorks like himself, and Liam wasn't all that hard to spot, with him carrying his comics everywhere and wearing Batman shirts so often Harry has started to wonder if maybe they are the only ones he has. So it's only logical that he should find them having lunch together and chatting away as if they are childhood friends reunited, as terrible as that is.

Harry's brilliant with people. He's a great judge of character, which is what makes him so good at bringing people together. He figured out all on his own that despite Zayn being so quiet and calm, he would fit in with loud, vibrating Niall rather perfectly. And they've been great friends since he introduced them, so they should really think twice before arguing with him when he decides who is apt to hang out with them and who's not. He's not changing his mind about Liam anytime soon, mostly because the more he talks with him, the more he's convinced he's both impossibly straight and absolutely perfect. It's a terrible combination to be around, and it would ruin everything in his little group. They cuddle all the time, how could he ever cuddle with Liam without wanting to bite at his lovely birthmark and lick him all over? No. It's decided.

“But he's great, Harry.” He's shaking his head so furiously his curls are bouncing all around him, but he can't stop because then Zayn might notice he's blushing a bit and he doesn't want to get into that. It's been fifteen minutes of listening to Zayn talking of all the marvelous things Liam does and Harry didn't need to know how much he works out or how he's a tutor in his free time. He really didn't need that information. “And he has so many comics, you should see his room.”

“You've been in his room?”

“Well... yeah. We've been hanging out.”

Harry's frown grows deeper, because this is unprecedented. His friends hang out with people outside their group, they do, it's not as if Harry has them under some sort of lockdown, it's just that... Zayn doesn't. He really only ever hangs out with them or Perrie. And if he's hanging out with Liam in Liam's room, it can only mean that he really likes him, and something needs to be done about this. 

“He's not hanging out with us. Trust me on this one, I've known the guy for longer than you have.” Technically, he knew him a week before Zayn did, so that much is true. “And he's … he's not as nice as he appears to be. He's got quite a temper, and I just, I think he and Louis would clash horribly. You know what Louis can be like.”

That seems to settle things for Zayn, though he looks disappointed, and Harry feels a little bad about it. He lied, because Liam is every bit as perfect as he seems to be, but he couldn't tell Zayn the truth because he would never see the end of it, and Louis' temper is always something to be feared, so he sticks to it. As long as it keeps Liam out of his group of friends, and he doesn't have to face the Olympic flips his stomach does whenever he sees him, he's okay with lying.

Weeks pass by, and Harry gets used to being around Liam without giving in to the urge of kissing him all over. They have two classes together, and they spend both of them reading different things at the back of the room, supressing giggles and commenting in whispers that sometimes make Harry want to slam his face against his desk because there is absolutely no need for Liam to press his lips like that against his ear if all he's going to do is make a silly joke. Other than that, he's mostly okay with it. He likes hanging out with Liam. And Zayn likes it too, and Harry finds he feels as possesive of Liam as he does, which should upset him but it doesn't because it means that the more Zayn likes him, the more he agrees with Harry on not bringing him into their group of friends. So everything's going smoothly, until one afternoon in which Niall, as he usually does, drops on Harry's bed with a bag of chips he probably stole from Harry's counter.

“So Liam tells me you've been hanging out with him. He's pretty cool, how come you haven't introduced him to us? Is it because of Louis?”

The fact that Harry is in the shower and that he has to nearly scream for him to hear doesn't seem to bother Niall at all, and Harry has never been more grateful for how weird he is, because he has a perfectly good excuse as to why he can't manage to give a proper answer, and there is no one around to see him almost choking up. How Niall manages to know every single person on campus, he can't figure out, but he's never hated that about him this much.

 

Liam is all sorts of wonderful, and so incredibly straight Harry feels like punching something most of the time. He hasn't ever seen Liam with a girl, but he doesn't have to. He's always right about these things, and it's written all over his face, in the way he dresses, the music he listens to. Harry doesn't believe in stereotypes, but he has complete faith in his own intuition since it has never ever failed him, except maybe a couple of billion times, but still. Plus, if Liam was into guys, he'd have noticed the way Harry stares longingly at him twenty fours hours a day. The only possible explanation as to why he hasn't said or done anything about that yet is that he's an average straight lad, just like Harry expected. It's alright, really. It's not like his crush has progressed from him having dirty dreams about Liam fucking him in the back of the class to having dreams of them holding hands and kissing each other's noses. Except he's kind of been having both types of dreams, and some even worse, and he's been told this is an experience everyone goes through at some point in their lives, falling for cute, straight boys who don't notice but probably feel it anyway and getting horribly crushed. Maybe he's aware of Harry's undying love for him on some subconscious level, and that's why he's so keen on getting under his skin, he's taking advantage of it to try and dig a Liam-shaped hole in Harry's heart until it takes up all of the space inside his body and he finally collapses. Although that sounds a bit cruel, and Harry doesn't think Liam's got a single mean bone. 

Liam and Harry keep sharing classes and Harry keeps sighing deeply every time the bell rings and they have to go their separate ways. He tries his hardest not to hang out with Liam outside of class, because he can't handle that much Liam in his life, even though sometimes he thinks he sees a hurt look on Liam's face when he says he can't get together to study because he's got other plans. Liam keeps asking, more and more often, until one day he stops. Harry doesn't know how to feel about it, a mix between relief and angst washing over him when he realizes it's been well over a week since the last time Liam asked him if he wanted to maybe get a cup of coffee and talk about their upcoming essay. He doesn't want to be friends with Liam, although he knows it might be a little too late for that, but he really doesn't want them to become close friends because he's dealt with this sort of situations before and it's just too hard. So he doesn't push it either, and it's better that way, he thinks. They're both better off if they limit their interaction to their time together in class, everyone's better off like this. This way, when Liam finds himself a nice looking girl to date, Harry won't have to suffer the agony of having to hang out with both of them, and watch them being cute and couple-y. And from the way Liam grins into his phone lately whenever he gets a text, sometimes even blushing, Harry thinks he's probably found her already, and starts preparing himself for the moment he has to start hearing all about how amazing she is. He wouldn't admit to it, but he starts practicing his fake smiles on the mirror, just to see if he can manage to make them look real enough so that Liam won't worry about him. He's been practicing for so long, he thinks he's ready for everything: Liam suddenly bursting out into an endless rant about how wonderful his girlfriend is, him bringing her to class, bumping into them on the street. He's ready for every kind of scenario, except the one that actually happens, because life seems to be set on proving him he can't be in control of the way things are, no matter how hard he tries.

He's used to having his stomach do weird things in the presence of Liam, but this -this feels like it's turning inside out. As if the butterflies were trying to crawl out of his insides because there is no point in him having them there when Liam is... Well, he's apparently not straight, and he never would have imagined this would turn out to be bad news for him.

If he'd spotted them at a party, he could have convinced himself that it was a drunken mistake on Liam's part, something he'd regret the next morning. Sure, he would have been sad about not having been his drunken mistake himself, but that would have been definitely less painful than this. Because there is no way that this is a drunken mistake, unless Liam's taken to drinking at four in the afternoon. And really, Harry could have survived watching them snog anywhere else and blame it on Liam wanting to experiment, anything to soothe his aching heart, but there's not mistaking this.

It's a coffee date.

Liam is on a coffee date with Louis, and they're not only kissing in such a sweet way that makes Harry want to throw up right then and there, but they're also holding hands. On the table. Fingers linked and everything.

The entire world seems to have stopped, and Harry isn't sure where he finds the strength to turn around and walk outside, but he doesn't realize he's done it unilt the cold air hits him on the face and snaps him out of his trance.

He was right about Liam dating someone, so his people skills aren't all that bad. He just was wrong about everything else.

 

“What's the deal with Liam and Louis?”

Niall looks up from his laptop, and closes it when he sees the look in Harry's face. He's been expecting this conversation for a while, especially since Louis told him Harry hasn't been speaking to him or Liam.

“They're dating. They've been dating for weeks.”

Harry's pout is worse than it has been in the entire month, and he's been pouting a lot lately. Niall finds this rather upsetting, there's nothing as bad as Harry being sad like this, and he just wishes he could help, but he can't figure out what's got him this gloomy.

“I don't understand why this is upsetting you so much. I knew you liked Liam, but I didn't realize you liked him this much. Like, honestly, at first I thought you weren't introducing him to us because you knew he was Louis' type through and through and you get so weird whenever someone mentions anything happening between friends...”

“I'm not weird about it.” Harry looks cross, and Niall rubs the back of his head, sighing deeply. “You are. You're very weird about it. If someone jokes about you and Louis, you get all pissed off and your face scrunches up completely. And it's odd, okay, it's not unusual for people to couple up within groups of friends, I don't get why you get so upset about it.”

Something that appears to be an eternity to Niall goes by before Harry starts speaking again, and he's fidgeting with the hem of his shirt like he does when he's about to say something important.

“You know me and Louis went to high school together.”

Niall nods, his eyes focused on him as he waits patiently. By now, he's been around Harry long enough to know that him telling a story is something he needs to be sitting down comfortably for. Not many people have as much patience as he does to listen to Harry's long tales that never reach the ending since he always remembers something else he wants to talk about in the middle and rambles further and further away from the topic as he keeps on talking. Niall still sits down and listens to him as if they are the greatest stories he's ever heard.

“It wasn't just me and him at first. We had a group of friends, and I didn't even hang out much with him. There was this guy, Nick, and he was... he was my best friend. Like, out of the entire group, he was the only one I hung out with on my own, and we were always together. He was the first boy I ever kissed. And my first lots of things.”

There's a silence, and Niall reaches out to grab his hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb. Harry doesn't look up.

“We dated, we broke up, just like every other high school relationship. Thing is, all of my friends were also his friends. And he was... he was the cool one out of the two of us, I guess. The one who got us invited to parties, and I didn't have much to offer. I thought we'd stay friends, like, we broke up because he said it wasn't working and I was hurt but I didn't- I didn't think much of it. He obviously didn't love me like I did, I had tried to ignore it but it was painfully obvious and it just made sense. I'd been waiting for it, even. But then my friends slowly started to become only his friends. After a bit, it was just me and Louis. Later on, I found out he'd told everyone he'd left me because I was clingy. Which I probably was, I just, I'd never thought he'd say something like that. He didn't break my heart, but I lost nearly everyone in my life because of what happened between us. So I'm not weird about it, okay, I just think that it's harder to screw up a friendship than to screw up a relationship, and I don't want to risk losing my friends. Like, when we started college and we befriended you and Zayn, I could tell how things would end up if something happened. You and him got on so easily, I knew if I said anything, if I tried to act on anything and things went wrong, it would be just me and Louis all over again. ”

At first, Niall is too shocked by how quickly that story was told and how Harry didn't get lost in his own mind even once as he told it. But then the words slowly start to sink in, and his frown grows deeper.

“Wait.”

Harry's still staring at the floor, and he seems to wince a little at Niall's voice. He didn't mean to say anything, it slipped, he's been so confused about everything lately and he's not used to speaking that fast, the words came out before he could think about them enough to figure out just how much he was giving away.

“Act on what?”

Panic is building in Harry's chest, and he drops Niall's hand.

“I have to go, I'm sorry, I have to... I'm sorry.”

He mumbles something else, something unintelligible, and he's walking out of the room before Niall can snap out of his confusion enough to stop him.

“Harry! Act on what?”

 

There's many things Harry is amazing at. He used to think dealing with people was one of them, but since it evidently isn't, judging from how screwed up everything is at the time being, he decides he probably shouldn't try to do that anymore. So he does the logical thing, and locks himself up in his room for about three whole days, turning his phone off. It's easier than going out and facing the state things are in, but once again, he forgets his friends are rather peculiar. They leave him be for a while, but on the fourth day, there's a knock on the door. It gets louder, and when Harry doesn't get up to answer, there's a sound that's awfully similar to keys jingling together, and suddenly his door is open. He doesn't remember giving anyone copies of his keys, but he's not all that surprised at seeing Louis has one anyway. He should've known.

They're all there, Louis, Niall, Zayn, and Liam. All of them standing around his couch, and watching him carefully as if he was a lion in the zoo and they'd just stepped into his cage. It lasts only a brief moment, the staring cautiously, and soon enough Niall and Zayn jump on the couch, while Liam sits on the floor with a concerned look on his face. Louis has taken his shoes off and he wanders off into the kitchen, putting the kettle on, because that is the most logical thing to do when breaking into someone else's place.

Harry doesn't even want to think how he must look. He hasn't exactly showered or changed clothes in a while, and he's been eating take away and dropping the containers around the couch, so he's pretty sure he basically looks homeless. Niall doesn't seem to mind the fact that he's as dirty as he can be, and he's cuddling up next to him, petting his hair.

“We were worried about you. We thought you'd run off and joined a circus.” Louis says as he waltzes back in with a cup of tea that he sips on, ignoring everyone's glare. Liam rolls his eyes and goes to the kitchen himself, bringing back cups for everyone else without saying anything.

“I don't want to do this, can we not do this?” Harry tries to stand up so he can escape what seems to be some sort of intervention, but Niall's arms are keeping him down. “Please. Just let me be, I'll be fine, I need some time to process... things.” No one but Niall seems to know what he's talking about, and Harry sighs deeply, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“It's about us, isn't it?” Liam's voice sounds weak, and Harry can't even bring himself to look at him. He didn't mean to make Liam sad about anything, and now he's gone and ruined everything for everyone. “Just because I'm with Louis doesn't mean you have to hang out with me or anything, you know. I'm only here now because they all asked me to, but I don't mean to impose myself or anything, I know you don't want me around.”

It's hard to tell what stings the most, if hearing him say he's with Louis or realizing how they're all reading the situation horribly wrong. Except for Niall, probably, who's giving him the saddest look like he's finally understood things, and it's not helping in the slightest. 

“That's not... that's not how things are. Oh god. I like you, Liam, okay? I like you a lot, that's why I didn't want to hang out with you, because then I would like you even more and I thought you- you were straight.” Harry isn't proud of the high pitched tone his voice comes out in, but he still points his finger at Liam accusingly. Liam's eyebrows are so high up his forehead they look like they might fly off his face any second now. “And I didn't want, I couldn't go through it again.”

The elephant in the room seems to be only noticeable for Harry and Louis, if the look of confusion in everyone else's face is anything to go by.

“Again?”. Harry closes his eyes and hides his face in his hands because all of the worst things that could have happened to him are all currently taking place, so of course it's Niall who asks. He doesn't reply and an eternity seems to go by before he can bring himself to look up. They're all staring at him -except Louis, who is currently examining a spot in the ceiling as if he might want to write an essay about it, and Harry is thankful because he can tell he's doing it so he won't blurt out the truth.

“It doesn't matter. It's my own fault, all of this. Just... don't worry about it, yeah?” He doesn't mean to sound anything but careless, but even he can hear the drop of desperation in his voice. This time, when he stands up and walks out of the room, no one stops him.

He can't leave his own apartment, so he just goes to his room and waits until he hears the door. He waits a little more after that, and once he's sure they've all left, he goes back out only to find Louis patiently waiting. He's sitting on the floor, on the exact same position he was in when he exited the room, about half an hour ago, and he looks distressed.

“I didn't know.” His voice is low and nothing like his usual loud, annoying tone. Harry decides to stare at a spot on the wall right over his head as he goes to sit on the couch, since he knows he can't get rid of Louis. He never has been able to do that, though he's never wanted to do that until now. “You never said anything to me about him, but I heard Zayn talking about him endlessly and when I asked he said you thought we wouldn't get on and I just had to go see what the fuss was about. And I got it, why you would have thought that, because he's so polite and decent, so... tidy.” He says it like it's a bad word, but Harry doesn't need to look at him to know he's got the fondest expression on his face. He knows because he feels exactly like that too. “I found him having lunch with Zayn once, arguing over something incredibly nerdy, and he was so- you know. So Liam. And then we had lunch ourselves a couple of times, and I liked him so much. But I didn't want to tell you because I kept waiting for us to clash terribly like you'd said we would, because you're never wrong about those things.” Harry feels a hint of a smile tugging at his lips, because no one but Louis believes him when he predicts things like that. And then it's gone, once he realizes he's been wrong about most of them and Louis believing in them has caused half of this tragedy. “It sounds stupid now, I just didn't want to give you the pleasure of going all I-told-you-so on me.”

At last, Harry's gaze drops to meet Louis' eyes. “But you didn't clash, did you?” He asks, a smile that's more bitter than he'd like threatening to show at the corner of his mouth. “No.” Louis shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders apologetically. “I'm sorry. I'd never have gone after him if I'd known, but I had no idea. He'll understand though, he-”

“I don't want you to break up with him.” Harry's eyes shoot wide open, and he gets up from the couch, crawling to Louis' side. “I love you for being willing to doing something like that, but it would be the stupidest thing you've done. I saw you two together. You're my best friend, Louis. I don't want you to miss out on being with someone who likes you so much he has Bloom set as a ringtone for your texts just because I have a crush.”

It doesn't take him a second to say that because he really does care about Louis more than he cares about anyone else, including himself, and seeing him turning completely red when he mentions the ringtone makes him smile.

“I didn't know I had a special ringtone.” 

Harry lets out a short laugh, the knot in his stomach dissolving as he watches his friend's usual smirk turning into a sheeepish smile he'd never believed he'd see in his face.

“So you'll be fine?” Louis' question is slightly charged, and Harry scoots closer to him, letting himself be wrapped in a hug. “We'll be fine.” He nods, hiding his face in the crook of his neck and repeating it in his head like a mantra. We'll all be fine.

 

It's not so bad after that. It takes them all some time to adjust, especially Liam, but soon enough they fall back into their old routine of being mates during class, and Harry eventually gets used to ignoring the few butterflies that didn't die the first time he saw the happy couple. And that's just the thing, they're both so happy it's hard to stay sad around them, even if their happiness is exactly what's causing Harry's sadness. Liam is still as great as he's always been, but Harry finds getting over a crush is much easier when said crush starts talking about Louis as if he's the greatest thing since comics. After the initial jealousy, he finds it cute in some way. And then it turns into being just gross, the way none of them can go over ten minutes without texting each other, and how they both keep talking about each other whenever they get the chance. Harry never thought he'd get tired of being around Liam, but now he keeps staring at the clock and sighing wistfully and Harry is actually pleased to hear the bell ringing.

His group now consists of five people, which he finds rather upsetting, but he gets over it quickly because he has enough with listening to Liam's longing. He can't hear it from Louis too, so they might as well let Liam into their group.

Life goes on rather smoothly, and after a month, Harry thinks everyone's forgotten about the whole thing by now. He has, for the most part. So when Niall lets himself in -seriously, how did they all get keys?- and drops next to him on his bed with a serious expression on, he's expecting him to either start ranting about some stupid teacher that pissed him off, or maybe about Nando's not being open twenty four hours a day. Anything but what he actually says, Harry could have expected.

“So you never answered my question.”

Harry raises his eyebrows questioningly, putting away his book.

“Act on what?”

Oh. That. He'd really hoped he'd forgotten about it by now.

“It's been a really long time, it doesn't matter anymore.” He says, looking away from him, but he can feel his blue eyes piercing through his head and it feels like he might actually set his curls on fire from the intensity which he's looking at him with. “Can't we let it go?”

“We cannot.” Niall's tone is firm, and he doesn't look away, not once. He keeps staring at the side of Harry's face until he looks back. “Look, Harry, it's not that hard. It's either me or Zayn, and if it's Zayn you would have told me by now, wouldn't you?”

Harry wishes he hadn't looked back at him because now he can't tear his eyes away, even though he's wishing he could hide under his blankets and stay in there forever. He didn't expect him to pick up on it, and now he can feel it all over again. He's about to ruin yet another friendship of his, and he doesn't know how he'll be able to recover after this one.

“I told you, it doesn't matter.” His voice is weak and barely audible, and Niall leans in automatically. 

“You're a fucking tosser, you know that?” Harry leans back, eyes widening. Niall's never said anything mean to him, and he doesn't understand why he'd- “You keep assuming things about people, you with your stupid ideas about how you read others and I just, you must know by now you're wrong like, nine out of ten times, yeah?”

Niall sounds proper pissed off now, but he doesn't look mad. He looks fond, terribly so, and Harry doesn't know what he's done to earn that but he'll take it.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” He says slowly, still unsure of what's going on.

“For someone so brilliant, you can be pretty daft.” Niall shakes his head, and he's beaming at him. He even reaches out and ruffles his hair happily. Harry's never been more confused in his entire life. “I have class now, but come find me when you figure it out.”

He watches Niall leaving his place, and runs his fingers through his hair, his eyebrows knitted together.

It takes him about an hour, which he's not proud of. He's still in his bed, watching Love Actually for the millionth time, when it dawns on him. Oh. Stumbling out of bed, he puts on his shoes and nearly runs all the way to campus, only stopping to catch his breath once he's finally standing outside of the classroom Niall's in. He's still got another hour of class, and Harry sits down against the wall, trying to steady out his breathing while his head keeps working incesantly. What if he's got it wrong? If he's come all the way here thinking Niall had been implying something just because he's been wanting it for so long, but in reality he'd meant something completely different and he's about to have his hopes crushed once again. Because if it's true, if Niall had indeed meant that he's actually sort of into him as well, then Harry's truly terrible at reading people. And he's not, he knows he's not, he's always been so good at it, so clearly he shouldn't be here right now because that can't possibly be what Niall meant and-

The classroom door opens up and Harry is startled out of his train of thoughts that was leading him nowhere, not having realized he'd spent an entire hour freaking out instead of going with his gut and running away. It's too late now, since Niall is heading over to where he's sitting, but he still stands up and tries to walk away.

“I-” He doesn't have time to speak before Niall pulls him in and kisses him. A couple of people around them stand and stare, but he doesn't seem to care so Harry gives in. He's been dreaming of kissing Niall since the very first day he met him, the cute Irish blonde guy who jumped to hug him about five minutes after meeting each other because he said he was just heading out to Nando's and asked if he wanted to come. 

“About bloody time.” Niall says after pulling away, leaning his forehead against his and breathing heavily.

“I really am horrible at reading people, aren't I?” Harry smiles shyly, looking up from under his eyelashes. 

“You really are. I'm not so good myself, but at least I don't act like I'm a mind reader. You kept going on and on about how great it was that we were all friends and nothing more than that, I couldn't have imagined you actually wanted to be something more. And then Liam...”

“I've wanted to be something more since I met you, I just... these things tend to end up in horrible ways. And I don't want to lose you.”

“You won't” Niall kisses him softly again, smiling against his lips. “And if we end up throwing plates at each other, it will have been worth it, I promise. It will be fine. We'll be fine.”

This time, Harry doesn't need to repeat it to himself, because Niall's beaming at him and holding his hand as they walk down the hallway and that's all it takes for him to believe it.

 

 

EPILOGUE

Louis hasn't ever had lunch in the campus cafeteria before. He hates the place rather profoundly, so much that it trumps his laziness and he's actually taken to cooking his own food just so he doesn't have to go there. But he's been listening to Zayn ramble on about this Liam guy for ages now, and every time he asks something about him, he tells him again how Harry said they wouldn't get on and Louis knows his friends well enough to know either Harry's absolutely right and the guy's Louis' complete opposite, or he's pretty great and this is just them being as possesive as they usually are.

So he enters the hideous cafeteria and it doesn't take him more than a second to find Zayn sitting next to a guy so incredibly fit he has to make an effort not to just stand there, gaping at him. If this is about them being possesive, he totally gets it now. He walks up to their table and drops himself next to Zayn, trying to look careless and probably failing at it because this Liam guy is apparently some sort of Greek god and the closest he gets to him, the more he feels drawn to those arms he just knows he'll be dreaming of for months now.

“Well, hello there.” He actually has to speak up for Zayn to notice his presence, snapping him out of whatever profound conversation he was having with Liam, though Louis is pretty sure they were discussing Dark Knight Rises. Zayn's eyes dart up and he raises his eyebrows at him, but Louis pretends not to see it and just beams happily. “I don't believe we've met, I'm Louis.”

Liam reaches out to shake his hand with a polite smile on his face. “Liam.” 

“What are you doing here?” Zayn isn't as polite, and Louis doesn't bother looking at him. There's so much of Liam he wants to see, he is regretting sitting next to Zayn. Maybe there is some way he can get rid of him and pull in closer to Liam, and then talk him into letting him lick his arms. He stays there, ignoring how confused they both look when he argues he came to have lunch but refuses to have any food because the place is highly unhygienic, and after a while they give up trying to make sense of his presence there and resume their discussion. It doesn't take Louis long to see the reasons why Harry might have been trying to keep them apart. Liam is so nice he wants to poke his eye only to see if that would cause him to react like more of a human being, and he gathers that's probably not a very good start for a friendship. He also appears to be somewhat obsessed with cleaning, and even if they became sort of friends, Louis could never let him see his apartment because he would have a heart attack, so that's a contra as well.

Yet, Liam is also funny in some ways, and the first time he makes Louis laugh, he looks at him with something he can't quite describe, but it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Then when Louis says something inappropiarte, Liam blushes and giggles in such a childish way that Louis knows he's fucked already. Zayn starts to look mildy uncomfortable, with them staring at each other like that right over his head, until he eventually leaves, giving some lame excuse none of them seem to hear.

So maybe Liam will at some point make Louis want to punch him with his being so unbelievably nice and tidy. But for now, he just makes him want to kiss him all over, and before they have to go to class, he writes down his number with a Sharpie on his arm. They might as well make good use of the time they have before Harry's prediction comes true, and get as much kissing done as possible.


End file.
